**In the Arms of the Angel Song**#hi i’m sarah maclaughlan #and will you be an angel for a helpless actor? #every awards season leo dicaprio is abused beaten and neglected by various film board associations #and he’s crying out for an award#please call the number on your screen #and join the ‘get leo an award of some kind at least a participation ribbon or something’ fund for just PENNIES A DAY you can help get him some kind of trophy or perhaps a shoe spray-painted gold or something call or join within the next 30 minutes and you’ll receive this welcome kit #complete with a photo of leo dicaprio doing some acting or philanthroping or whatever it is that he does nowadays#right now he’s sitting at an award gala saying ‘i need an award’ #and your call says ‘i know but honey you just have to stop being in such awful films’ please call right now